Love, Anonymous

I’ve never felt permanent. Like a trick of the light or a penny on the sidewalk. Real, but never there for long. I see myself as a figure to be placed but not a subject to be saught. Go where I’m needed and leave where I’m not. Even I don’t recognize my past lives when they’re indeed still apart of me. I claw for commitment but still fall into the next current.

Just when I settle in one place, the winds change and I’m swept away. Onto the next home, the next love, the next friend of a friend who needs a ride home and cries in the car to the only person who will listen. Onto the next lesson, yours or mine. Sometimes I’m tumbling in a washing machine while other times I’m floating. Shining. Smiling. But it’s never forever, especially when it feels like it.

How am I supposed to do the right thing when everything starts to blur together and nothing looks like the exact right choice? How does anyone live without feeling like they’re defusing a bomb with every waking day? I’m flickering in and out like the flame of a candle and the swirling winds are getting louder and louder and lou-

Love, Anonymous